A jumped up copper to the nobs
by mirrorballsymphony
Summary: Sam Vimes thought it was difficult dealing with the upper crust (or scum) of Ankh-Morpork, but at least he doesn't have to grow up with them. Includes Young Sam.


'Hey!' the boy yelled.

A group of boys turned round and looked at the skinny, dark haired boy who was glaring at them.

'Hwat?' one asked.

'You can't say that about trolls!'

The biggest boy walked towards him slowly. 'Can't we?' he asked haughtily. 'Hwhy not?'

The boy stared at him. 'Cos they aren't any different to us.'

'To you, maybe.' There were a couple of well-fed chuckles from the back, and the boy blushed.

'Are you scared?' the posh boy taunted. 'Well, it runs in the family, I suppose.'

The dark haired boy lashed out and caught him right on the chin, and his head snapped back.

'Don't you say that about me dad!' he yelled.

Slowly, the bigger boy raised his head, glaring at the young boy.

'We're going to get you, Vimes,' he snarled.

* * *

To be fair, she had been expecting something like this as soon as she had been elected godmother.

It was sort of presumed that she and Carrot would be the godparents of Young Sam, along with Ruby and Detritus. But with the trolls looking after Brick now, and Carrot being a little to liable to tell Vimes things, the problem had fallen to Angua.

Sybil had approached Angua two days previously, twisting her handkerchief in her hands.

'You alright?' Angua asked kindly.

'It's Sam.'

Angua frowned. 'Isn't he in his office?'

'I mean Young Sam.' Sybil pulled a seat from the side of the room and sat down heavily.

'Is he ill?' Angua's knowledge of children was less than perfect.

'Not...exactly.'

Angua looked at Sybil, noting the bags under her eyes and the lank, greasy hair. 'What's happened?'

'I'm not really sure. He's just been very quiet recently, and yesterday I saw something that looked like a bruise on his arm.'

Angua raised her eyebrows. 'He couldn't have got it playing football, could he?'

'I don't think so.' Sybil ran a hand through her hair distractedly. 'I suppose I've just linked the two together or something.'

'No.' For some reason, Angua felt this needed sorting out. 'Have you talked to him.'

'Yes. He said it's nothing.'

'How old is he?'

'Ten.'

'Ah.' Angua nodded. 'He would say it's nothing, then.'

'What?'

'Ten year old boys. They're not known for talking to their parents.'

'They're not?'

Angua patted her shoulder. 'Look, Sybil, why don't I talk to him? He might talk to me.'

Sybil seemed to be battling with something inside her head.

'You won't be a bad parent, Sybil,' she said quickly.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes. I'm sure.'

Sybil looked slightly calmer. 'Do you want to come over tonight?'

Angua peered at the roster. 'Sure. Tell you what, why don't you invite Carrot too? That way Sam might not think it's suspicious.'

'Good idea. Is he free?'

'Yep.'

'Seven?'

'Sure. And don't mention anything to Young Sam.'

'Okay.' Sybil hesitated in the doorway. 'Do you think it's something important?'

'Oh, I doubt it. You know how boys are.'

'Oh.' Sybil paused. 'Thanks.'

'That's fine.'

The door closed quietly.

* * *

Angua and Young Sam sat on the floor, leaning against a wall somewhere in the Ramkin house.

Angus wasn't really comfortable with this. She quite liked children, normally because they were so much smarter than adults, but she didn't really know how to comfort one.

'Er, Sam?' she said slowly.

'Yes?' His voice was quieter than usual.

'Are you...alright?'

Sam sighed as if he had heard the question far too many times. 'Yes, I'm fine.'

Angua decided to go in as a copper. 'No, you're not.'

Sam's head drooped slightly. He didn't reply.

'Can I see your arms, Sam?'

Slowly, Sam held out his arms. He was wearing long sleeves, even in summer. Gently, she rolled one of them up, and saw the first bruise blooming on his pale skin.

She felt anger burning through her body. 'Who did this?' she asked, trying to keep her voice level.

'Someone at school,' Sam said indistinctly.

'And I'm guessing you can't name names, right? You don't drop your mates in the cacky.'

'Dad says that sometimes.'

'I got it off him. But, unlike him, I can curse in Uberwaldian.'

Sam's eyes brightened. 'Really?'

'Sure. I'll teach you when you're older. But I'm fairly sure you're dad's already taught you to punch in Morporkian.'

'He hasn't, actually.'

'Really?'

'No. Detritus taught me.' Sam smiled wanly. 'I like Detritus.'

'He's a decent sort, yes.'

Sam looked up at her, worried. 'Angua?'

'Yes?'

'I heard some people saying some nasty things about trolls the other day. At school.'

'And what did you do?'

Sam hung his head. 'I went up to them and told them to stop. I told them about Detritus, and Ruby, and Brick.'

'And what did they do?' Angua knew the answer.

Sam's head was nearly touching his knees. 'They...they hit me a couple of times. And they said not nice things about Dad.'

Angua's eyes narrowed. Yes, she could find fault in Mister Vimes, she was allowed to, but these people, these kids, they didn't even _know_ him.

'Which school do you go to, Sam?'

'What're you going to do?' the boy asked quickly.

Angua had to grin. 'Nothing, nothing. I'm just wondering about the sort of people that've been...hitting you.'

'It's the one that Mum used to go to.'

'The Pride of Ankh?'

'Yeah. Dad didn't want me to go, but Mum said it was heritage. But when I went, they were all wearing different clothes, and they spoke different...' He trailed off.

'So, basically, they were posh nobs.'

'That's what Dad said. Except,' here Sam grinned, 'I think he meant it with a k. But my mum's the richest lady in the city, and that didn't seem to make a difference. And they were saying all this stuff about Dad...'

'Like he's just a commoner, that sort of thing?'

'Yeah.'

Angua nodded. She was familiar with this sort of thing. She'd been born into one of the highest families in Uberwald, but if you went round criticising people you soon got excluded. Absentmindedly, she rubbed her elbow.

'You hurt your arm, Angua?'

'No, no. Just remembering something.'

Sam was watching her carefully, as only a young child can do. 'Where did you go to school?'

'A place not too different from yours. And I learnt a very important lesson there.'

'What?'

'Keep your head down. If you don't like something that someone else is saying, don't listen to it. Poking your head above the barricades is always going to get it shot off.'

Too late, Angua remembered why she was uneasy around sad children. She tended to speak her mind a little too much.

'I'm going to get shot?' Sam asked frantically.

'No, no. It's just an idiom.'

'A what?'

'An idiom. Sort of like an expression.'

'Sort of like an idiot,' Sam remarked. He seemed to have calmed down a little.

Angua glanced at his dejected face. 'Do you want me to talk to your dad?'

Sam shrugged. 'I don't know. I don't really want to worry him.'

'But you can't keep on getting punched.'

Sam just looked at her.

'Look, Sam, I'm going to give you some advice. If you have an opportunity to get out of somewhere you hate, take it and run.'

'You want me to bunk off school?'

'No. That'll get you killed. Metaphorically, of course,' she added quickly.

'So,' Sam said slowly, 'I should tell Mum and Dad.'

'Yes.'

'But what can I say.'

Angua stood up, wincing at the stiffening in her back. 'I'll sort that out.'

She reached down, and pulled Young Sam up. Carefully, she put an arm around his shoulder and he leaned into her hip.

They walked back into the dining room.

* * *

Angua was doing the Chittling Street beat as she heard a familiar scream. She started running, leaving Visit trailing behind her.

Suddenly, she stopped dead, and glanced round the corner into a playground. Young Sam was shrieking with laughter as another boy chucked a water balloon at him. It exploded right in his face, and he looked up at her through a curtain of sodden hair.

'Hey! Angua!' he yelled.

She walked hesitatingly up to him, remembering her brother's annoyance when her mother turned up at school. He waved at her.

'This is Tonker,' he said cheerfully, gesturing to the boy who had thrown the water balloon. He nodded respectfully.

'And this is Tosser,' Sam told her.

'What?'

'Oh, it's alright, he nicknamed himself. I'm Stoneface.'

'Are you really?' Angua asked weakly.

'Angua works with Dad,' Sam told the assembled children. 'She's a captain, like Carrot, which means she gets more paper.'

The children nodded respectfully. Angua had to grin.

A bell went behind them. 'I've got to go,' Sam said. 'Are you coming round soon?'

'I don't know. It's pretty hectic at the moment.'

'Okay.' Sam paused for a minute. 'Thanks, Angua.'

'What for?'

'For letting me move.' Sam looked around the playground, smiling at the battered tarmac. 'It's nice here.'

'It is, isn't it.'

'Got to go.' Sam ran off, but paused before he got to the door and waved at her. 'See ya!'

Angua raised a hand. 'Bye.'

He disappeared inside.


End file.
